Jokes about mother-in-law
– Neighbours, give me two buckets of water?
– And what do you need water if you have a well at your place?
– My mother-in-law fell into a well, and the water is only up to the chin.
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A married couple survived a terrible road accident. The woman's face was badly burned. The doctor told her husband, that there is no place to get skin for a transplant, because the woman is too skinny. The husband offered his own skin. According to the doctor, the skin from the buttocks was the most suitable. The husband agreed. Because the case was delicate, he asked the doctor, to tell absolutely no one about the place, from which the graft was taken.
Twelve weeks later, after removing the dressings, everyone was amazed at the beauty of the woman. She looked more beautiful than ever before. All friends and relatives admired her and envied her youthful appearance.
– Sweetheart, Thank you for everything, what have you done for me – she said to her husband, when they were alone. – I will never be able to repay you.
– Don't worry, Honey – replied the husband. – The greatest reward is for me, when your mother comes and kisses you on the cheek.
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– This, why does grandma run around the garden and jump?
– Do not talk! Pass the cartridges!
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The guy won 5 million in the lottery. He comes home and screams from the doorway:
– Honey, I was lucky! I won the Lotto 5 million.
In the room he finds a crying wife.
– Why are you crying, Sweetheart? Did something happen?
– My mum died…
– that ribbon, CUMULATION!!!
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– Since you hate me so much, that's why you keep my picture on the mantel? – asks the son-in-law's mother-in-law.
– Keep children away from the fire.
* * *
– You know, what did i buy my mother for her birthday? – says the wife. – Electric broom.
– What for? – the husband is surprised. – So she can get to us faster?
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– What is the worst thing about bigamy?
– Two mothers-in-law.
* * *
– What is the difference between an accident and a misfortune?
– When the mother-in-law falls into the well, it's an accident, when they take it out, it's a misfortune.
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The three sons-in-law are sitting in the bar, having drinks, wondering what to buy for their beloved mother-in-law's birthday. They finally made it, that they would buy her gold earrings.
They sit on, they have more drinks, money is running out.
– Let's buy her silver. She will be happy for sure.
Satisfied with the solution, they continue to drink. Little money left.
– You know what, this year, we'll probably just pierce her ears.
* * *
The mother-in-law decided to test the feelings of her sons-in-law. She visited the first. Walking around the yard, she accidentally fell into a well.
– Rescue! – will.
The son-in-law quickly ran and pulled out his beloved mother-in-law. The next morning, the son-in-law comes out in front of the house, and here is the new Opel Corsa. A note stuck behind the wiper:
– Dear son-in-law – mother-in-law.
The whole situation was repeated with the second son-in-law. The son-in-law quickly pulled his mother-in-law out of the well. The next morning he found an Opel Corsa outside the house with a note:
– Dear son-in-law – mother-in-law.
Finally, the mother-in-law visited the third son-in-law. She jumped into the well.
– Rescue!
The son-in-law came over, he looked into the well and threw a heavy stone into it…
The next morning, he walks outside the house and sees an Audi A8. There is a note behind the wiper:
– Dear son-in-law – father-in-law.
* * *
The son-in-law enters the room and sees the mother-in-law holding a broom.
– Mom is cleaning up or flying away?
* * *
Masztalski is talking to a friend – You know, i wish i was a mouse.
– Why just a mouse?
– Because my mother-in-law is afraid of mice.
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– This, this, boar attacked grandma!
– How I attacked, let him defend himself.