Jokes about doctors
My dentist demanded 100 PLN for a tooth extraction.
– Isn't that too much too 10 seconds of work? – I caught his attention.
– You are right, therefore I will do it very slowly – he replied.
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Zdzislaw, working in a funeral home, he woke up one morning with a stomach ache. His wife took him to the emergency room, where a number of studies have been carried out, to determine the cause. He did not want to call information to work, until the results are known. After a few hours the doctor came over.
– You suffer from kidney stones.
– Maybe you can call the funeral director now – the wife suggested.
– But ma'am, your husband is not that sick!
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– The doctor gave me a laxative for my cough.
– And you don't cough anymore?
– I'm not brave.
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* * *
– You haven't been to me for a long time – the doctor greets the woman as she enters.
– A, because I was sick.
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A woman comes to the doctor, and a doctor in Ireland…
* * *
The gynecologist is looking for problems there, where others find joy.
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The doctor gave me six months to live, but when i couldn't pay for a visit, he gave me six more.
* * *
– I'd like to see a female dentist – the guy at the clinic asked.
– Why women? – the recorder became interested.
– Because I want to hear the woman speak: “please open your mouth”, and not “shut up”.
* * *
The gynecologist is examining the patient.
– You have an unusually deep vagina – says.
– You don't have to say it twice, doctor.
– It was not me, Mrs.
* * *
A woman with a frog on her head comes to the doctor.
– What are you? – the doctor asks.
– Something stuck to my ass – says the frog.
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– doctor, my husband has been unable to satisfy me for some time – the young woman complains. – Can you do something about it??
– How old is your husband?
– Seventy.
– E, your husband's gonna be a nice bull. Please undress, we'll start with the horns.
* * *
– Doctor, I'm a dog – the patient says to the psychiatrist.
– Please lie down on the couch.
– And, Thank you. At home, they don't let me lie on the couch.
* * *
– How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
– One, but it will take five sessions.
* * *
The baby's corpse enters the doctor's office and lies down on the couch.
– What are you decomposing here??
– And I'm supposed to rot in the waiting room?
* * *
The doctor stands over the baby's grave.
– doctor, you don't have anything for worms? – he hears a voice coming from the grave.
* * *
Prostate surgery is underway in the operating room.
– Sister, please correct your penis.
– …
– Oh yes, Great… and now the patient.
* * *
The world-famous painter lost her eyesight. After several operations and months of treatment, she managed to recover it. In gratitude, she painted thousands of eyes of various shapes and colors on the walls of the ophthalmologist treating her.
– What was your first reaction, when you saw the finished work on the walls? – one of the invited journalists asked the doctor.
– I thanked God in spirit, I'm not a gynecologist.
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– What is the best remedy for hemorrhoids?
– The middle of the ass.